We All Get Older, We Don't All Get Grown.

Shaq earned the Co-MVP All-Star Trophy before the game even started! Amazing.

As some of you might know, last week I was hit very hard by the Flu. I was bed-ridden for over a week and I almost lost my life. Well, I didn't actually almost lose my life, but it sucked pretty bad. It seemed like a lot of people caught the same thing. Even Star Athletes such as myself, Kobe, and Garnett couldn't avoid this terrible virus.

That being said, I spent a lot of my days watching TV and movies and trying to get better. When I had enough of watching Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern on the Travel Channel, I entertained myself with the list of semi-new movies that my roommate downloads. Once I started running out of choices I finally decided to watch The Happening. Wow. Maybe it was because of my sickness, but I just thought it was a terrible movie. I know at this point you might think that this entry is solely about my experience with the flu or me going off on how watching The Happening probably made my condition worse, but its actually about Love or more specifically Relationships. Took me a while to get to my point huh?


So anyways, what inspired this post was actually a scene from The Happening (don't worry, I won't ruin it for you if you are planning on renting it some day...but you really shouldn't). In the movie the main characters meet a lonely, old lady who is cut off completely from society and they stay at her house for the night. While they are eating dinner that night, the old lady asks the couple, "So who is chasing who?" The couple had no idea what the Old Lady was talking about so she explained that in every relationship there is always one person who is "chasing" the other one. This was about the only thing that really interested me throughout the movie.

The reason it caught my attention was because I find a lot of truth in that statement. In my experiences with relationships, I've been both the chaser and the chased. One thing that has been relevant in all of my relationships though, is that there was always one person who tried a little bit harder and who seemed to care a little bit more. And its not just with me, I see it all the time with the relationships around me as well. While both parties are in the relationship, or in love, or both, there is usually an obvious one that is putting a little bit more effort.

Why is that? I can't explain it exactly because I know its different with every relationship. It could be because one is more worried about the relationship lasting. Or it could be that one is just more into the other. Maybe one is "dating up" and feels reluctant to be in that particular relationship therefore they put more into it. Or it could even just be because one is naturally more thoughtful. There are tons of different situations that define a relationship, but all i'm saying is that its very rare to see one that is "balanced". And its not even that a couple has a defined "Chaser" and "Chasee" from the get go. For example, in my "most serious" relationship as an adult, at the beginning of the relationship my girlfriend was the one who was noticeably more into it. She was definitely chasing me and showing me on a daily basis how much she was into me. But then at some point, the roles changed . Maybe I just became more "in love", but there was definitely a role-reversal at some point.

One thing that I came to realize, after reflecting on that scene in the movie, is that I like, or maybe I should say that I tend, to prefer to be the one doing the chasing. What the heck is wrong with me? Why would I choose to chase someone? The only explanation I can come up with is that it must be that I enjoy "The Chase" in general. Maybe sub-consciously I see it as a challenge that I want to conquer. I can't say for sure, but one thing I do know is that being chased isn't as appealing. I actually get kind of annoyed if someone is trying too hard to show me that they like me. Maybe its a power trip or I just get big headed, but that's just how I've reacted to being chased in the past. Who knows, maybe when I meet my wifey-to-be, all of this will change, and I'll finally see what that perfect balance is all about.

This is just such an interesting topic to me and I wish I could explain the Psychology of it all. What are everyone else's thoughts? Am I missing something here?