The Toilet Paper Bandit Strikes Again!
Posted by Brandon Lagao | Posted in What's Going On In The World Today | Posted on 4/08/2009 05:53:00 PM
25 Randoms about Brandon Lagao: Random Fact #1 Update.
The TPB either works out at the same gym as me or is tracking me as well...or both. The other night after working out, I discovered that not only does the Toilet Paper Bandit like his privacy at the office building bathrooms, but also at 24 Hour Fitness. This is definitely a huge crack in the case, as one of the people I suspected, also frequents my gym. After my career at Jobing.com came to an end a few weeks ago, one of my biggest regrets was that I thought I might never solve the mystery of The Toilet Paper Bandit. As we all know, God sometimes works in mysterious ways and after it was all said and done He provided me with this great lead.
After this discovery, I have come to two possible conclusions:
1. It is actually the guy I have suspected after all this time. I try to make eye contact, so I can give him a nod and let him know that I acknowledge the fact that we've worked in the same office building for the past 2 years and have been going to the same gym just as long...but no, this dude never even says hi! And because of that I do not know his name(and lucky for him because I would shout it from the rooftops once this case is closed). He must know, that I know, that he is the culprit and is too ashamed to even make eye contact!
OR
2. Every time I need to use a public restroom I BLACKOUT with anxiety, you know, similar to what happens to The Hulk when his blood pressure gets too high. But instead of getting really buff and green and filled with rage, I start ripping off pieces of toilet paper and I cover every crevice of the bathroom stall right before I do my BM.
Here are pictures I snapped of the scene(i really hope the other guys in the locker room didn't get the wrong impression, haha):
The funny thing about this to me is that the TPB covered the very small openings that were BEHIND him! Who is seriously going to put their face up against a bathroom wall(especially right next to the urinals) in hopes of possibly catching a glimpse of the Toilet Paper Bandit's butt?!?! Seriously. I haven't fully decided what to do once I capture this bandit, but I'm thinking that I just might arrest the bastard.
The TPB either works out at the same gym as me or is tracking me as well...or both. The other night after working out, I discovered that not only does the Toilet Paper Bandit like his privacy at the office building bathrooms, but also at 24 Hour Fitness. This is definitely a huge crack in the case, as one of the people I suspected, also frequents my gym. After my career at Jobing.com came to an end a few weeks ago, one of my biggest regrets was that I thought I might never solve the mystery of The Toilet Paper Bandit. As we all know, God sometimes works in mysterious ways and after it was all said and done He provided me with this great lead.
After this discovery, I have come to two possible conclusions:
1. It is actually the guy I have suspected after all this time. I try to make eye contact, so I can give him a nod and let him know that I acknowledge the fact that we've worked in the same office building for the past 2 years and have been going to the same gym just as long...but no, this dude never even says hi! And because of that I do not know his name(and lucky for him because I would shout it from the rooftops once this case is closed). He must know, that I know, that he is the culprit and is too ashamed to even make eye contact!
OR
2. Every time I need to use a public restroom I BLACKOUT with anxiety, you know, similar to what happens to The Hulk when his blood pressure gets too high. But instead of getting really buff and green and filled with rage, I start ripping off pieces of toilet paper and I cover every crevice of the bathroom stall right before I do my BM.
Here are pictures I snapped of the scene(i really hope the other guys in the locker room didn't get the wrong impression, haha):
The funny thing about this to me is that the TPB covered the very small openings that were BEHIND him! Who is seriously going to put their face up against a bathroom wall(especially right next to the urinals) in hopes of possibly catching a glimpse of the Toilet Paper Bandit's butt?!?! Seriously. I haven't fully decided what to do once I capture this bandit, but I'm thinking that I just might arrest the bastard.
Ok. I am seriously needing an update on this ongoing saga!
I think you have found your life calling...you need to go back to school so you can write a sociological thesis/study on this phenomenon..
Haha, no more updates just yet, but i'll keep you posted. I sure hope this isn't my life calling though!
i might have to put this story in my magazine.
Do it.
i'm on the look out for the TPB here in the Philippines. No sightings yet.