We All Get Older, We Don't All Get Grown.

Remember that future entry on love I talked about...well here it is as promised! What can I say, I love the idea of "true love" and everything it stands for.

The lesson you learn from your very first failed relationship is that, every relationship you are in before you meet "the one" are learning situations. I know this and reluctantly accept this to be a truth. I consider myself to be a scholar of life and am in love with expanding my knowledge in anything from math to underwater basket weaving to the meaning of life. I'm not that great at math, i'm not sure I could even basket weave outside of water let alone submerged in it, and the meaning of life is something i've accepted i'll never fully know...but that doesn't stop my pursuit of knowledge, regardless of how trivial some of it may be. So, in my last "relationship", I took this whole "failed relationship-lessons thing" to a new level. It was probably one of the more ignorant things i've done lately, but in the end I can still look back at it as being productive.

Lets just put it this way, after date #1 of this relationship, the following words actually came out of my mouth: "She's cool but i'd never ever want to be in a serious relationship with her." When every positive is immediately followed by a "but", that relationship typically doesn't end in a long-lasting, meaningful relationship. It more likely then not, will end though. But nevertheless, I continued on for a few more months of this. Not one time during this process did my feelings change...but i continued on because it was fun and I kept telling myself that I would probably learn something that will improve me for my future someday. I've never been in a relationship before where my long term goal, wasn't something more meaningful. This was new and exciting for me. Wow, what an idiot. And like every other failed relationship, it ended. I finally came to my senses and decided I needed to stop this. Looking back, I did learn a lot though. I learned how to be less serious when it came to my love life. I expanded my already extensive spontaneity. I reinforced that i truly am a man of principal and my morals are my foundation when its all said and done. And probably most importantly, I learned to be less sensitive when it comes to how humans treat each other. I hope to take all these things into my next relationship, whether it be a failure or a success.


moral of the story: It's usually not a good idea to date someone for the sole purpose of gaining personal life lessons. Not only is it not fair to the other person, but it is a waste of time, money, and good date ideas :) Even if you learn something in the end, if that is your purpose, go serve in Africa for a month, interview an old couple that's been in the game for 50+ years, or just simply go to church...these will all teach you more and better prepare you to be a better husband or wife someday. A failed relationship is still just another failure in my book and God knows how awful failure makes me feel. Plus, i'm sure there are at least a few more failed relationships in my future, I might as well just let them come naturally.